Friday, January 13, 2012

Update 1/13

I had my appointment with psychologist yesterday. We went over and addressed some of the issues and thoughts I have had for a while.
I want to note that her husband did pass from cancer in the last two weeks. So I kept my thoughts on cancer to myself. But I did explain how I feel about my lack of desire to live out this life and how out-living my parents appear to be my only goal right now.
She echoed the same thing I have thought and others have told me, that I need to get a hobby, and I need to get out and socialize more. She feels that I am creating a great distance from other people and society in general when I don't leave my house for 2 weeks at a time like I have been lately.
I mentioned to her, which I haven't here, but I shaved for the first time yesterday in over a month. I was bearded and carrying the typical depressed look. I do want to say, even though I was not shaving, I have always kept up on my hygiene, meaning I shower daily, I don't wear dirty clothes etc... Growing a full beard was out of character for me though, I usually stay close to clean shaved or just a little scruff.

She mentioned that while we were talking the only time I have smiled the last few visits is when we talk about dogs, or when her dog comes and loves on me. She reinforced the fact that I need to get a dog or get involved with them somehow. Her saying that had me tearing up for the first time in her office. Not sure what it was, don't know if it was me thinking about my dog, or the thought of getting another, or even the confirmation from someone that knows me well, that I do in fact need that companionship.
I looked up a few of the shelters in my area and tomorrow I will visit at least one of them to see about volunteering. I really would like to only get involved in walking them and playing with them if that's possible. I am sure they will take what they can get.
I figured it would be good for me and the dogs for us to walk each other. So we will see.

Apparently my girlfriend had a break down yesterday after I left for 2 hours of doctor visits. She got to thinking about our dog that passed recently. Her crying started up again when I discussed my doctor's recommendation to get a dog. We are both in agreement that we are not ready for a new dog, but she thought the volunteering was a good idea.

I called my PCP today and left a message. I wanted him to know the Ativan does nothing for me and see what he would like to do. I will also mention the hemorrhoids if he calls me back personally. I told the person that took the message that I had something personal to discuss if he had the time to call me back.

I have been seeing my psychologist once every three weeks because I felt that was enough (except with her husband in hospice we didn't meet for over a month), but she asked to see me again next week, and possible once a week for the next few weeks.

1 comment:

  1. Good things. Walking a dog, getting out, more psychologist and PCP. Maybe talking more with your girlfriend too? And good changes to the blog aswell. I will stay away for awhile, and come back to see how things have changed!
    Take care!