Response to comment and blog changes.

I was kind of called out for my cancer comment. I am fully aware of what I have said and why. I have had losses in my family and around me to cancer. Its a bullshit way of going or even something to fight. As I told this person, to hold up the integrity of this blog and continue writing what is written in its raw and honest form, I must disclose the thoughts I have here, regardless of how morbid or insensitive they may be.
This person didn't seem overly offended. But if people are offended with what is written here, please check the Blog List to the left (and Johnny on the right).
As it stands right now, in January 2012, I would rather not be alive than live my life with MS. It just is the way it is for me. Cancer is a form of escape that would let me out of this life without taking it myself. It would almost be a fitting end to this shitty life thus far.
As it is thought, it is written. (but not always published)

I have made some changes to the layout and will give them a few days to see if I like them. Main change is a new section on the left side that holds current symptoms and current medications. Might be helpful to someone.

Woke up with right hand numb. I have had numbness come and go in my left hand for a year now. The right hand is something new. Seems more numb in the index and middle finger than the rest. On my left hand it was usually from the middle finger down to the pinky/little/fourth whatever you call it finger. This all makes typing more of a hassle. I type all day long for my job. I have tried dictation applications but my mind runs faster than I can talk and it just doesn't fit my style of thinking/talking/whatever.

Bama shut down LSU last night 21-0. I couldn't have been happier. There was more excitement in me last night than I have felt in a long time.