Pain in the ass... Hemorrhoids and exacerbation

Seems like with each of the last couple exacerbations I have ended up with internal hemorrhoids. The last few days I have had blood in my shit. Same thing happened earlier this year with the last exacerbation. I have bowel issues, getting a little constipated, and then see blood in the shit.
My bowels had gotten down to about a movement every few days in the two weeks, and no movements while I was actually having the exacerbation. Went about a week with no movement, then they just started moving properly with no assistance with medication or diet changes. I already stick to a high fiber diet.
The last time I had the hemorrhoids the movements were very painful. This time, the bowel movements really are not painful but I can feel it when they they must be passing by the hemorrhoid.
I will give this another couple days before I contact my doctor. The last bout with these I called no one. I told my neurologist about them after a month later or so during a regular visit.

Previously I had researched the blood in the shit and it wasn't until I specifically searched for hemorrhoids and multiple sclerosis before I found that there is a link for some people.
Initial research points to colon cancer, which my feelings are the same now as it was then, I wish it was.
Its a morbid thought, but I have it. As offensively rude and insensitive as it is for me to say (and have said before), I would welcome cancer. Cancer would be a way out of this mess that my life is without taking it myself. Its a painful and shitty way to go, but at least for my family's sake, it was out of my control.
I have a post drafted and have not published yet that covers thoughts regarding my life. I have been waiting until after my next psychologist appointment to go over these thoughts with her first before I publish.
They are alarming thoughts and ideas that I think, would normally get someone locked up in a padded room, so I will keep them to myself for the time being. And its possible these thoughts written will change over time. I certainly hope they will.

Anyways, thought I would get this nasty little post out of the way. Red shit, red water, and red toilet paper should be a um, red flag for anyone to get in touch with their doctor asap. I will give this one some time. Too much pride? Probably, but I just don't care. With MS, I have learned to not call a doctor every day I have a problem. They will come and go, just as we will.

Roll Tide