Monday, January 9, 2012

Just say it...

My girlfriend returned last night. Today we caught up on a few things. She asked how I was doing and I replied "feeling good, not great..but good". I don't know why I cannot tell her about any issues I am having. I have not told her about the hemorrhoids, or anything related to numbness or nerve pain.
Hemorrhoids are the star of the show here. It's not an embarrassing thing to someone I have lived with for 10 years. I feel like its none of her business. Same goes for my other problems. I think if there was a different connection between us she would know more.
Maybe more details of my daily life to her would make a different connection between us.
I wonder how much she is able to get from me when I don't say a word.


  1. See that's the thing, I can read my husband like a book. I can sense when all isn't right, when he's worried, when he's pissed off. Despite saying he's fine, I know when he isn't. It scares him sometimes. I find it easier to not let anyone see what's going on with me. Maybe we put barriers up? Maybe it starts at not wanting to bother anyone so we keep it all in.

    I've had the red flag issues. I still do. Haemorrhoids will cause that. Especially if there's a lot of blood. Mines is a different issue, so there's not much blood. What I do know is here they urgently done a colonoscopy/sigmoidoscopy to rule out Bowel Cancer. Although they haven't managed to yet for me. It may surprise you to know people understand the way ur feeling and I think you express a lot of what others are too frightened to say. I look forward to 'that' post. I guess I want to compare notes. You do need to see a Dr though. Please. My sister has BC and the earlier it's caught, the better. The way you're feeling is only right now. I'm confident when life's going better, you will feel differently. So don't allow this to continue on without seeking help. Please. X

  2. If she knows and understands more than you think, would you like that she talked about it? Asked more?

    1. She is a "sweep it under the rug" kind of person and doesn't talk about these kind of issues.

      I would consider telling her more if she asked.