Friday, August 9, 2013

Update 8/9

Thanks to Sherri writing about her recent enrollment in a new patience assistance from Biogen, I was able to call them, and after 30+mins they located the program and found that I qualified. I will get to bypass my insurance and receive Tecfidera for free.

Made another run to old town for cannabis.
(which is already getting way too fucking old...I shouldn't have to spend four fucking hours in the car in one fucking day for some fucking pot...fucking ridiculous.. I can only find shit here.)
I called my old Psychologist a few days before the trip and made an appointment with her.
She was pleasantly surprised to see or hear from me. Last time I saw her, she asked me not to disappear on her, and I said I wouldn't.. well I did just that. I didn't see her before a I moved. Been over a year or more since she had heard from me.

We updated records and some of the significant bullshit. It was a good visit. Didn't make any sort of impact. She pushed multiple times that I need a dog. I know this. There are things that have to be worked out. I live on a mountain with little to no room for a dog to do their business. I expect to be moved soon and a proper yard will be priority.
She has two dogs that are trained service dogs and they were both all over me. It was nice to get that attention and unconditional affection. They were getting on the couch with me, each trying to fight for attention.
For a service dog, they were apparently misbehaving this way which led to another verbal push for a dog.

This..... this was upsetting on multiple fronts. It was upsetting to see someone suffering like that. It was upsetting to see someone with MS suffering like that. It was upsetting that she has no decision in her fate.
She wants assisted suicide so they can harvest her organs. How can an animal get put down because its too ill and healing is 'not cost effective' or there is not enough room in a shelter? We can kill a living animal without a second thought. But a human... well, make that thing live regardless if it wants to or not.
I will not live like that for a moment... I will drown, cut, electrocute before I ever live die in that situation.
I simply will not require assistance. I want to write my own ending.

Humans are profitable. Doesn't matter in what shape. Healthy and sick humans are consumers either way. You must be alive to buy new gadgets, entertainment, medications, real estate etc..
Every one of us have some function in keeping the wheels greased for them.