(and I will brag about myself before I had MS, you know for a unscientific baseline).
My experience is quite different from everyone else due to my relationship situation, but that shouldn't keep the main points and issues from being clear.
It may turn out to be very crude, but we are all adults here (I hope). This is from the perspective of a straight male.
There is very personal stuff written here, stuff I wouldn't tell a best friend.
So in the mind you go, where even I rarely go..
A lot of people new to MS may not know but MS plays a big part in having sex.
It can or will cause issues with fatigue, decreased sex drive, decreased sensitivity, inability to get an erection or vaginal lubrication. (talking like a doctor here)
Sometimes dudes cant get it up or girls don't get wet.. (better?)
In all seriousness its a big issue, among the other problems MS presents, its just another fucked up way of getting into every aspect of life, anything that could be enjoyed. It can also be another thing that can drive a wedge in between partners/lovers.
Before MS, I was a stud in the bed. I could fuck and fuck some more. Mattress sliding off the box springs onto the floor fucking. Days of stinking up the house with sweat, girl/guy cum and the occasional whiff of pot and/or cigarette smoke to be quickly replaced with more sweat/cum. Nasty, I know, but most of us have been there at one time or another, and if you have MS, and it's affecting your sex life, or you simply have grown old or tired from age... you would welcome that stench atleast once more. And of course I have had plenty of the normal run of the mill "love making" sex. But I pointed out the long stinky sex because it was no problem then, it was easy, fun, it was better than a picnic.
I don't know if it was just me or what the drive was, but all girls I dated or had sex with were or acted like nymphomaniacs, they always wanted to fuck and I would oblige. I never got into kinky shit, just loved straight up sex.
Ahh to be
After MS, I am a dud in the bed. I cannot fuck more than a few minutes before the fatigue sets in and I am drained. This always happens before I can get off. Current gf is easy to get off so she gets hers quick.
The sex doesn't feel the same, it just doesn't feel as nice as it always had. I haven't gotten off during sex in several months. Now it takes a blow job to get me off. (part of this is decreases sensitivity, part is who I'm with)
At times during sex the spasticity will act up, I will get tightness in multiple parts. This can get extremely uncomfortable while trying to do your thing. I found that at times I will get the spasms regardless of the position. Don't know if its due to body temp rising or what. It's not your typical cramp, over the months I have learned to feel the difference. Having sex on the side in a spooning position seems to be the most comfortable.
Our sex this year has been awkward. While she was cheating on me, she continued to fuck/suck me. After I found out about it we didn't have sex for months. Then came a day I was dying to get a load out, and masturbating doesn't do it for me. I would go on to give her some very angry painful sex for a while and it eventually toned down.
We have not kissed since I found out about her 8-9 months ago. So I'm basically fucking a prostitute. I don't love her, barely like her. The sex serves a purpose right now. Believe me, I know how fucked up that is and how very unhealthy it is.. But I am a man with occasional desires and weaknesses.
My sex drive has dropped off in the last month. I don't have the desire to fuck and get off. I fucked her about a week ago after weeks of her rubbing on me and making mention that she wanted to, I fucked her one morning just to do it. Again... I know.
Most ladies/gentlemen that read this probably already take the time and care to make sex as comfortable and enjoyable for their partner, but if you don't, please take the time to research sex and MS, and learn what the other has to go through. My experiences written are not what everyone deals with, but from what I can gather a lot do.
Sex is a very important part of any relationship, I don't care what anyone says, it is. Everyone has the desire to have that type of passion and extension of love. I hope everyone does, its natural isn't it?
So after reading this, if you have MS, talk to your partner and discuss what would make it more enjoyable. If your loved one has MS, then ask them what you could do to make it more enjoyable/comfortable. Then fuck. Fuck, suck, touch, love, whatever it takes to connect. Just do it.
Note: I did do a little editing after posting to add additional information after I thought about it more, and removed a couple details that simply were not relevant.
No pun intended (who am I kiddding?) but that is so fucked up. I think you could meet some good sex partners with this story. Women need to feel needed, well, some. My first left me for my fucking brother so...I feel very lucky that 21 years post MS DX it has not effected my sex life with my partner of THIRTY-TWO years. She is a hot bisexual and I am a guy in a female body, so it works. She has illness too though and no doubt out sex is not what it was when we were in our 20s---but that it much to do with getting older and HER illnesses. It was so hot to start that now is still better than the first one (in my mid--late teens). I have wondered how MS affects (50/50 chance I'll hit the right effect) people's sex life. Thanks for clarifying yours. I do have MS-Numb areas but not in the vagina or mouth, or most of my body. All that said, we are in love. Madly, deeply, romantically, and without all that love the rest would be: eh. Sex can be bought. Love can't. Her smile can't. Her desire to please me can't. Our desire to stay with each other forever can't. I got lucky. Funny, the only other blog I read this morning was also about a guy and his sex life. The baggage his VERY religious parents dumped on him. If I were single and str8 I'd please you both. I'd please your brains out. You both seem lovable enough to at least give love a chance. Cheers to finding that special woman who 'gets' it and 'gets' YOU. (PS--They should bottle that scent, right? Nothing else quite like it.)
ReplyDeleteI envy that connection and love, anyone without it would. It gives me hope to hear people have that.
ReplyDeleteWould you mind posting a link to the blog/post you mention, I am very interested in reading about another persons experience.
Putting the scent in a bottle would certainly boost the unemployment rate some, we are not short on people that would sweat/cum in a bottle for a living.
Sure, one of my favorite blogs and bloggers:
ReplyDeleteGroping The Elephant
http://gropingtheelephant.blogspot.com/
And here is link his to post about sex.
ReplyDeletehttp://gropingtheelephant.blogspot.com/2011/11/forbidden-fruit.html#links
I have spent the last 2 hrs trying to reply to this post:((
ReplyDeleteI'll try again another day but basically all I was trying to say is I think there's still a great chance your sex life could be great, with MS. I know it's not helpful to u to hear about others who are doing great, but my brother has had (PPMS) since the age of around 19 and been in a chair since the age of 21. 4 kids later he's doing great in that department. I think the psychological issues cos of what your girlfriend done are the main prob. Sure there's days u don't feel like it, are too poorly or shattered. Sometimes a quickie can be better than a long sesh. I experience all the physical probs too, so my man just gives me lots of cuddles and understanding. When I just can't be arsed, he'll just rub my back, cuddles that don't have to lead to anything. I think ultimately u need to decide if u can build a bridge and get over it. It's terrible what she done but if u can't forget, even she deserves more. You certainly do as you never fucked up.
That stud's still in there somewhere!;-)
ReplyDelete