Thursday, February 2, 2012

Update 2/2

Went to psychologist today yesterday, she gave me quite a bit to think about. I make a living as problem solver. I have been dealing with other peoples issues and problems for over a decade as a career. I seemingly have an answer for everything.
But for whatever reason, my doctor is able to ask questions that leave me with no answers. My brain locks up on the types of questions and scenarios she puts me through. She is good at perspectives that I miss.

Past 3am and still working. I need to learn what my limits are. I don't normally work this late but today, too many things have gone wrong that require my attention.
Didn't start off right with some asshole calling the emergency line which goes to my cell, at 6:30am this morning. Mr. Dickhead just wanted to see if he could get some assistance with something at 9am, and ask too many questions. If you can think of an insult, it was used or thought of once that call ended.

I wanted to go to the shelter today but the pain in my legs has been bad, mainly in the right leg. Since it was raining this evening I figured I could atleast stop in and give some dogs some company for a little bit, but by the time shrink visit was over I had to get home and get laid out.
I am out of cannabis so I am dealing with all of this with no medications.
Due to finances (thank you IRS), it'll be a few more weeks until I get anymore. But I have lined up some from out of state to get here at the end of the month and it will cost me a quarter of the price for the same amount.
But no hash for a few months while a fresh crop is growing. I would rather have some good hash. A little goes a long way.
Until that arrives I will just tough it out. I will not go back on the shitty medications the doctors had me on.
I am no longer going to be their guinea pig.

Tomorrow Today is going to be rough.

"What you have just heard was not fiction, although in many of desperate moment I most certainly wish it had been. It's over for now it seems, or at least until yesterday begins again tomorrow"


  1. Your job sounds interesting. Can I phone you when I need my problems solved..? hehe
    It would be interesting to know more about you talk with the psychologist!
    Hope your day isn`t as bad as you thought it would be:)

    1. eh, my job is not that interesting and not very special. It is a common industry job, I just leave some details out to separate the blog from my identity.
      But I have worked for the same company for 12 years, we have a mutual feeling for each other.

      I will attempt to post again later today or tomorrow with more on psychologist visit.

      For now, I am tired out. Ready for the end of the day. Couldn't come sooner.

  2. sorry you're having a rough go of it... sucks to be out of meds and unable to get any...

    amazes me that people have a complete and total lack of consideration about what classifies as an emergent situation... why would a person make a call in the off hours if it weren't a true emergency....

    1. thanks Sherri. It does suck, but life goes (uncomfortably) on.

      I have been on call for nearly 10 years (on a rotation with other employees) and I am used to the late/early calls, but usually they are actual problems. Mr. Dickhead obviously was not Mr. Turtlecock's real name. I was just really cranky and feeling mean.