Update 2/9

Interesting week so far, started off pretty shitty and has been a little relentless. But it has some decent moments.
Weekend was shit. Waste of time. Worked the whole weekend. I was on call and the phone calls wouldn't stop. People in that town are getting dumber I suppose. Most of the calls are not what most people would consider an emergency.
Three days this week a different dick each day has called between 5-6am. Really, really fucking annoying.

Recently went to a MS meeting. At the meeting a top neurologist in the town was there for Q&A. I asked about how common residual effects from an exacerbation are, and if there was a resource for patients to look up possible conflicts between medications. Even though both of my doctors are updated on what I have taken in the past, they both seem to just pile on shit without using any caution.
I mentioned in the meeting that I had dropped all medications except Gilenya and cannabis when it is available.
The lady that runs the meeting said that they couldn't talk about who to get what from who, but if anyone wanted to help me they could see me after the meeting, and they did. After the meeting 4 people approached me, one simply stated that he smokes (and said he wants to catch a ball game when the season starts), three said they would either supply me or set me up with their dude. One person gave me some which was very nice of them. So I walked out of the meeting for three connections, when in the six or so meetings I have attended I have left there with zero new information and feeling worse about the MS.
I was given enough shit to last me a few days, so I am very grateful.


The Walk MS event is going to be happening in my town in the upcoming months. I had been letting family know about it. I didn't necessarily invite anyone here, but when they mentioned about potentially coming here I told them they were welcome anytime. Well it fucking blew up in my face a couple days ago. I already knew of a couple immediate family members planning on coming. Within 2 days I have been told of atleast 8 people that are planning to come. 8 fucking people is a bit much, and it was mentioned I should expect more.
Now I love my family and would do anything for them, but Sweet Baby Jesus Christ that's too many in one visit. I have a three bedroom house, one room is my office, the other a guest room. where the fuck with they all fit?
We will manage.

The one group that kind of throws off the vibe and balance of the weekend will be my grandparents. I never thought I would ever see them make a trip up here. They are up there in age and do not travel well. Most the remaining family smokes dope and while I have already told my Grandmother I smoke pot due to the MS and she is accepting of that, it is as bad as kicking a baby for the rest of them to do it. That goes for cigarette smoking as well, which most of them do. But that is one thing I have told them to suck it up and deal with it. When my Grandmother saw me smoke for the first time, she took a swing at me, and threw a fit. After that she never gave me shit, and never bitched at me again. So the family that does smoke needs to just take the swing, and get it over with.
I will promise this, I will not hide my dope smoking around her. I swear, if it is time for me to smoke and she is outside, I will march right out there with my joint or pipe and fire it up. I will then proceed to attempt the most complex, and intelligent conversation she has ever heard. I already talk over her head at times and she tries to keep up, but I will rehearse this shit. I will make sure any misconception she has, is completely blown away. Again her and I already talked about it. Last time I was down visiting them, I brought it up when she was asking about my medications. She even said if she knew where she could get it, she would right then. Little did she know I was getting ready to leave her house and pick up three ounces.

My grandfather asked my mom once last year if she "had any of those funny cigarettes", I guess he was in pain one day and was open to smoking it (again?). She said she didn't. I will ask him when we are alone if he would like a toke. I love and relish, I go so far as to say I get a rush from getting to smoke with family members that I never thought I would get to, or never thought they would ever. I have smoked with other grandparents, aunts/uncles etc... I have a cousin that I was around when she was born up till she was in early teens and she moved. One of the smartest and brightest people I have ever met. Her mom said she knows her daughter has smoked and probably would smoke when she came to visit. My mind was blown thinking about the memory of the sweetest girl in my life taking a toke of that shit. I would never pressure her, but I will offer it once since she is 18 now. I get giddy thinking about it, and I think that's where the rush is kicking in... I never would pressure anyone into it, although I did in my late teens with one of my good friends. He was drunk so I figured I could talk him into it. But he never gave in...

My life seems to be all or nothing especially when it comes to friends, family, or pot.

"What you have just heard was not fiction, although in many of desperate moment I most certainly wish it had been. It's over for now it seems, or at least until yesterday begins again tomorrow"