Friday, February 3, 2012

The Fight - Round 1

Ding Ding. We fucking went at it yesterday. I don't recall exactly what kicked it off, but before we knew it we were in a shouting match, both of us spewing nasty verbal regurgitated shit. "asshole jerk off piece of shit" "bitch cunt whore" around and around we went.

Very loose transcript of argument parts. I cannot remember every word said, but some points I do.
me: "I don't love you, and I barely fucking like you"
her: "Why is it so important to be in love?"
me: "Really? You don't think two people that have been together for over ten years should love each other?"
her: "No, a lot of people fall out of love"
me: "yeah, they fucking separate or get divorced"
her: nothing
me: "I gave this bullshit time, I tried to get over you being a fucking whore, but everything has been compounded this year, and your inability to be faithful, your lying, and your drinking has all been magnified"
her: "Get over it. It was just sex, and meant nothing"
me: "Yes it was just sex to you, but it is more to me. Its entire thing wrapped up together. To you it was a few blowjobs and some fucking. To me, it was lies, deceit, manipulation. You cared enough about that sex then to hide it."
her: repeats herself that I should be able to get over it
me: "You don't think its a little fucked up not kissing each other for a year?"
her: "No."
me: "You don't think its a little fucked up we have not been intimate with each other in a year? We only fuck occasionally to serve its purpose. Not to connect."
her: "That is all its ever been, just fucking. We have never had any intimate moments."
me: "Not once in ten years?"
her: "No."
me: "Sooo, you ARE basically a whore. You give up your body for sex, with no affection or intimacy, and in return you get a place to live, food to eat and shit"
her: "Whatever."
me: "Yeah, whatever, that's a really fucking deep thought. So we are really room mates then? Room mates that fuck sometimes, but don't like each other..."
her: "Pretty much"
me: "Then you are fucking evicted bitch! Get your fucking shit and leave!"
both: more back and forth name calling.

At this point my work is calling, and I am late for a scheduled appointment. I just had to go to my office.
She runs off to the store and returns with a bottle of wine. I stayed in my office busy working for the next few hours.
I come out and she is fucked up drunk (she drank the whole bottle) and I didn't even want to get into again with her. I know better than to start a fight with her drunk.
As I stood there looking at her drunk face attached to a head that couldn't stay still, trying to figure out to myself what my next step is, one of my cousins called that I am close to, but don't get to talk to often. We talked for 2 hours catching up on stuff. (she is going to come visit me for the upcoming Walk MS).
Left my office to find the bitch passed out drunk. She was mumbling some bullshit about a facebook game or something.
She went to bed before I did, and when I came to bed, she tried to put a arm around me, which I promptly moved and said "fucking drunk bitch you don't even know who your in bed with". She didn't say anything.

Today she has sent me some emails while shes working trying to act like everything is normal. Asking about super bowl and stupid shit. Trying to act like the argument never happened. It really makes me feel like a joke to her. She seems unable to take me serious.
She has no idea that I might actually grow a pair this afternoon.

"What you have just heard was not fiction, although in many of desperate moment I most certainly wish it had been. It's over for now it seems, or at least until yesterday begins again tomorrow"

1 comment:

  1. This is sad reading. It seems like she has really big problems. Bigger than you need right now. Can you separate your life from her? Completely? Just do it! It seems like she needs help. It`s not your job. All the energy you waste on this relationship what does it do to you?
    Good to hear about your cousin coming!!