Update 2/11

The on call neurologist at the practice where my specialist is, fit me into an appointment late in the week.
This piece of shit was something else. We started out by going over drug history. Went into detail of my issues/experience with Rebif and discussed Gilenya.

He kept leaving the room for 10-15 minutes at a time. I could hear him coming in and out of rooms down the hallway.
He proceeded to lecture me on how bad marijuana is and that I have to be on a DMD.
He followed up with informing me what my fucking options were... he started telling me about a fucking drug called Rebif!!! and then talked to me about Gilenya as an alternative to injections (!!!!). I could have hit him.. wasting my fucking time, he didn't listen to a fucking word I said. There were a couple more issues that I don't feel like going into the mundane details. It was a shit visit with shit doctor.

He said that I should be on steroids asap but before he could prescribe IV/oral I would have to do the blood work..
Since I am a mental case pussy piece of shit, I almost passed out and had to pull the fucking plug. The needle phobia is still very much there.
I fucking hate myself.

Without the blood work he wouldn't start me on any steroids. On top of that they canceled my April appointment to see the specialist stating that I could not see more than one doctor there. Well no shit, I only saw this prick in the emergency. The two doctors have to sign off on a patient transfer. Have not heard back yet about getting rescheduled with the MS Specialist.

I walked out of that place at my lowest.
I called my old neurologist and notified them of the situation and to see if I could get an oral steroid script.
The office called back the next day after 6pm, I was forgotten, but a PA remembered me on the ride home.
Got my script called in and started yet another round of Prednisone.

Each round/tapper on Prednisone has been different . The first couple times it seemed to really help, last few, not so much.
This time it's making me a bit drowsy. Makes my stomach upset for a few hours and leaves me feeling hungry (taken with food as directed).

Two days into Prednisone and I can now move a few toes on my left foot where I couldn't before. I hope that is a sign of being on the upswing. Time will tell...

I had not informed my family about recent exacerbation but I told them this week. I got shit for that.
I confided in my sister more than I ever had about this shit..I created an updated timeline for the doctors and she asked for a copy which I provided (http://anonymsbs.blogspot.com/p/timeline.html)
She was upset that she didn't know about most of the issues because I had kept to myself but says she understands. She knows who I am and how I have always been. Lack of transparency is not a surprise.

I have to figure out this blood work bullshit. I have to get it done. Man up you dumb fuck.
I have been drinking this week. Bouncing between whiskey and rum. I am in so much pain, and I just want to take it down a notch. I have no drugs for pain and no pot to smoke. No relief and the liquor is the best I can do.
Drinking here and there but only a couple consecutive nights. I dislike it enough to know this will not be an issue.

Whatever.