Update 1/6

I think my last post didn't correctly express myself. Reading it back seems like alot of whining for not getting invited to something. It has nothing to do with invite or anything. I think at the time writing it I was coming down from a high of the prospect of socializing and communicating with someone in person that I don't see on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. And that was all, just a missed opportunity and I bitched about it.

Felt a little beat up lately. A couple days ago, a leg and an arm were giving me some trouble. Starting moving them a little better today. Numbness in my left hand has come back some. That seems to come and go as it pleases. Sleeping is getting better, almost to the point of not wanting to get up.
I have spent the last 3 evenings out at the pit having fires. My girlfriend is out of town visiting family so I am getting plenty of alone time. Getting plenty of time to think.
Doing the fire stuff takes a lot out of me. I have a few brush piles to collect wood from but all smaller pieces have been used so I have to chop quite a bit of it. I continually push myself out there for some reason.
I feel like I am pushing myself because having these fires seems to hold onto the last bit of outdoors-man I have in me.
Other than the physical strain of getting it done, I do find plenty of peace and satisfaction in my time by the fire. I will put on some music through the phone, prop the feet up and usually smoke a bit.
Yesterday I watched three deer just walk by me with no alarm or feeling of danger. It was nice having that moment with nature. Neither of us gave a shit.

I am still in search of a hobby. The fires wont be logical soon. Its already almost too cold outside. I went to a hobby shop last weekend and poked around. Found nothing that would interest me. A lot of the main hobbies there are pricey ones to get into. I also do not want to get into any kind of collecting. I don't have the room and urge to start any sort of collection. I will just keep my eyes open for something.

Might get out of the house tomorrow for some various stuff. There is an MS meeting in the afternoon with a group I have never been too. Don't know if there are any younger people there or not. Might stop by that and check it out.
And there is some live music in town tomorrow night. There is always live music, but I came across a couple shows I wouldn't mind seeing. The downtown area is very difficult to visit. Little parking, lots of walking, and everything is on a hill. No fun trying to walk around anywhere with my current problems, so we will see how I am feeling.